Things to Consider About Assisted Living

Weigh the advantages for your particular stage of life

By Carl A. Trapani, MA, MS, LPC, Chippewa Manor Campus Chaplain

It’s no secret that neighbors in rural Wisconsin tend to know each other. They look after each other’s interests and help each other through life's seasons. The best assisted living communities follow that tradition. They don't simply provide housing—they create neighborhoods where people know your name, notice when you're missing from dinner, celebrate birthdays, lend a helping hand, and remind you that you still belong.  Their goal isn't just adding years to your life—it's adding life to those years.

If you ask ten seniors what they think about assisted living, you'll probably get eleven opinions. One person says, "I'd rather leave feet first than move out of my house." Another says, "I should have moved here five years ago!" The truth? Both may be right. Choosing assisted living isn't about finding the perfect place—because no place is perfect. It's about deciding whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages for your particular stage of life. Let's look honestly at both sides.

Many seniors don't realize how isolated they've become. It starts gradually. The children and neighbors move away. Driving becomes difficult. Friends pass away or relocate. Before long, an entire day may pass without speaking to another person. One survey found that about 40% of adults over age 45 report feeling lonely, and loneliness has been linked to poorer physical and emotional health. Something unexpected happens after moving into assisted living. Instead of eating dinner alone while watching television – you have someone to debate with whether the Packers or the Bears have the better quarterback. 

You will eat better.  Cooking for one person isn't much fun. Many seniors admit that dinner is often a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, cold cereal, or whatever is left in the  refrigerator. In assisted living, meals are freshly prepared. Someone else shops, cooks, serves, and washes the dishes. Many residents enjoy meals because they become social occasions instead of chores.

Assisted living isn't a nursing home. Most residents are still independent but may need help with things like bathing, dressing, medications, or mobility. There's tremendous peace of mind in knowing that if something goes wrong, help isn't twenty miles away. It's down the hallway. Adult children are relieved of an invisible burden. "Did Mom remember her medicine?" "Has Dad fallen?" "Why isn't he answering the phone?" After a move, many families say the greatest gift isn't convenience. It's relief. Visits become visits again—not rescue missions.

Let's be honest. Assisted living has drawbacks. "This Isn't My House." Home isn't just a building. It's where birthdays happened. It's where grandchildren took their first steps. It’s a garden where loving care went into every tomato, turnip or rose plant. It's where every scratch on the dining room table tells a story. Leaving that behind hurts. Even when the move is the right decision.

Quality assisted living isn't inexpensive. It costs real money. Like everything else, rates have continued to rise in recent years. So before deciding to move, families should ask detailed questions about, medication fees, personal care, charges, transportation, laundry and level of care increases. Keeping in mind that the current prices will not be permanent.

Discovering that not every community is excellent - is perhaps the most important point.

Some assisted living communities are outstanding. Others struggle with communication, or consistency. So before you sign up – visit a place more than once. Visit at lunchtime. Visit on weekends. Talk to residents—not just the marketing director.

So...Who Should Consider Assisted Living? It may be a wise choice if:

• You're falling frequently.

• Cooking has become difficult.

• You're missing medications.

• The house has become overwhelming.

• You're lonely most days.

• You no longer can drive safely.

• Family caregivers are becoming exhausted.

Assisted living isn't about giving up. It's about choosing the place where you can live your best life. For some people, that's the family farmhouse. For others, it's an apartment where someone else shovels the snow while they enjoy coffee with friends.  Sometimes moving doesn't mean life gets smaller. Sometimes it simply means life gets shared.